Following childbirth some people may feel that they have been left with many unanswered questions, which have left them feeling like they may need to speak to someone. For many, there is a need to have their feelings validated and understood.
During this session, i encourage women to discuss what happened during their pregnancy, birth and postpartum periods and explain clinical events and discuss what that person has deemed traumatic in detail. This debrief session can last between 1-2 hours and is a great opportunity to gain clarity and closure.
This debrief can also serve as an opportunity to discuss birth preferences for a subsequent birth following previous birth trauma. There is no need for you to have your notes, however, if you do have them and would like for us to go through them then that is more than welcome. The debrief serves as opportunity to be heard and for your questions to be answered impartially. Your partner or the person who was with during the birth is more than welcome to also attend as they may have also been affected by the traumatic experience. Should you have any further questions please do email me.
Booking Information
How to book
Step 1 – Pay for session. Please note there is a 6-8 week wait for appointments. If you require a session with urgency then please email to enquire.
Step 2 – You will receive a booking form asking for further information including day/time preference.
Step 3 – Once completed I will send over my availability via email.
Step 4 – Once you have selected your preferred date, I will confirm by sending you over a zoom link which I advise you to save to your calendar straight away so you don’t forget!
Refund and cancellation policy
Rescheduling your session
You are more than welcome to reschedule your session however I cannot guarantee that it will be immediate.
There is a six to eight week wait for sessions, but I will do my best to reschedule closer to the time.
Honor –
My recent birth debrief with Illy was fantastic.
Illy provides a safe, non-judgemental space to share your birth experience with an absolute expert. After the session, I felt heard and informed. It has completely changed how I think about my birth experience, and I now feel prepared for my approaching second child’s arrival – something I thought I would never truly say.
Highly recommend. The best investment I’ve made in myself (and my babies!).
Lydia –
I had a debrief with Illy 19 months after giving birth. I had tried an NHS debrief, but I came away just feeling “nothing went wrong, why do I feel so hurt by what happened?”.
I was worried I’d cry through the whole thing, or talk too much and have no time to actually hear what Illy had to say (I cried a bit, and did talk for nearly the whole hour!). But Illy made an extremely safe space where she helped me go deeper into what happened and how it had really impacted me. Her support and advice was so succinct and to the point. She left me feeling heard, validated, and like I could start healing – properly.
I went in to the debrief feeling like I had somehow let myself and my baby down, I came out realising how strong I had really been, and that I had been let down in some significant ways.
Illy even found time to help set me up for any subsequent births, with tangible, actionable advice that will help me better advocate for myself and find the support I need.
I cannot accurately put into words the profound impact this debrief has had on me.
Thank you Illy for freeing me from any trauma I was holding, and unlocking a really positive future for me and my family!
Nicci –
It had been 4 years since the birth of my son and finally getting over fear of no sleep I’m due my second in a month.
As the due date got closer I was getting more and more anxious about the birth. I had been following Illy on Instagram and loved her content both around birth but also great snack chat.
I booked a debrief to talk to someone about my first birth which if I’m honest I had pushed to back of my mind.
Illy made me feel instantly at ease, I didn’t have my notes and didn’t think I’d have much to say but as soon as started talking it flowed.
Illy was lovely, she got me talking and then dropped nugget after nugget of advice which was spot on and she just got me as a person.
Advice was practical and when I relayed to my partner. She read the situation and me so well it was instantly actionable the next day in my consultant appointment.
she made me realise that I’m a bad ass woman in work and life and I can bring that energy to ensure that my wishes are respected by medical consultants who I had felt intimidated by!
I’d recommend a debrief with Illy to everyone, next time I won’t wait 4 years!
Ayfer –
My husnand and I felt so supported and empowered after speaking to Illy. After a traumatic first birth, I really wanted to disentangle the last birth from my pending birth and that is just what we both got. Just to be given the emotional encouragement, together professional knowledge, to know where I had agency going forward was empowering and healing feeling. I came away knowing where i was able to place preference in my next birth. Illy mirrored our feelings, kept us safe and seen and we also both loved that we felt culturally understood as well ❤. We are so thankful to her for making us feel so much more at ease about our next birth. We will carry her voice with us into birth and be forever grateful. Big love Illy. Your naturally compassionate nature makes you so right for this healing work. Xxxx
Anna Mitchell –
I had my session with Illy 18 months after giving birth to my daughter and 9 weeks pregnant with my second. It was a very generous ‘pay it forward’ purchased by my sister.
I didn’t really know what to expect from the session, I had attended my reflections session at the hospital and expected it to perhaps be similar. I couldn’t have been more wrong. My reflections session with my consultant had been very clinical; explaining to me why certain decisions had been made and actions had been taken. My session with illy explored some of my thoughts, feelings and fears. Focusing primarily on how I had felt a lack of control during my previous labour. I don’t think I realised how overwhelmed and traumatised I had been by the whole event and how much pent up nerves I was feeling towards the impending labour. Illy helped unpack all of this stuff and left me with a much clearer head. I felt validated and free.
We also spoke a lot about my next labour. Illy did a fantastic job of guiding me through my thought process around whether I wanted to go in for an elective c section (after my previous emergency) or whether I wanted to go for a vaginal. Her empathy and understanding combined with her clinical knowledge was exactly what I needed and I left having a much clearer idea of what I wanted for my next birth.
I left the session with a huge weight of my shoulder, a feeling of empowerment and a much clearer head in terms of future labour plans which enabled me to go into a much more productive conversation with my consultant at my 16 weeks check up.
Thank you Illy. I can not recommend you highly enough. I have already had a friend have a session with you, who also found it hugely beneficial and just recommended you to another friend who has unfortunately had a tough birth & post partum period x
Philippa –
I finally made the decision to have a birth debrief and I only wish I’d found Illy sooner. From the moment I contacted her, I knew she was the right person to help me along this journey. She was so kind, friendly and warm. And then when it came to the actual debrief, I really didn’t know what to expect, but she made me feel at ease immediately, and I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in a long time!! Illy made the session so relaxed, gave me a safe space to talk about my births, the issues I’m facing and helped me see things in a different light. For so long, I have carried this pain and I finally feel that pain is leaving… Maybe even already left. The hour went so fast and there was never an awkward moment. There was crying (which I definitely expected) but so much laughter, which I really didn’t. I came away feeling “lighter” and having since spoken to people about my births, I don’t feel the same pain or sadness I used too. From the bottom of my heart, thank you Illy.
Hesther –
Finding Illy’s account on Instagram has been an absolute blessing. I quickly recognised that her words and overall approach were exactly what I needed to hear. This space that she has created has been one of the only places where I really feel seen and understood in regards to my feelings around my first birth.
As soon as I fell pregnant for a second time I knew I would book a debrief session. Illy’s ability to create a safe place to share feelings and have those feelings acknowledged is a real gift and one that is so badly needed in the birthing world. Illy helped to give me confidence in my own voice, to trust and to use that voice.
I’ve just given birth to my second child and this time we had a really positive experience, worlds apart from the first. I was clear with what I wanted, I was listened to, I was well cared for and post birth I feel like myself which was my ultimate goal.
There are many factors that helped to make this a reality, not least my debrief session with Illy, but also all the many months that I have followed Illy and taken in her powerful words for which I will be forever grateful.
Thank you so much Illy for all that you give on a daily basis to this community, it has such a huge impact.
Hannah wale –
I had my debrief last night 10 months after having my second baby and 3 1/2 years after the original trauma and Illy was amazing. It felt like such a safe space to let out my feelings and then have my concerns and reactions justified. It made me feel like I wasn’t the one in the wrong at all and I really needed that.
It was the first time I had been told my decisions and reactions to the situations I was in were the correct ones and I was right to feel the way I did.
She was so kind and really helped my reframe my whole situation and at the end of our session I really felt a weight had been lifted and I felt lighter about the whole thing.
I feel confident that if I do decide to have a 3rd baby I will go with my gut and speak up for what I want and need because at the end of the day it is our experience our birth and we should be in control.
Thank you so much Illy for everything you do and the power you help women take back. I will highly recommend you to everyone I know who would benefit from a debrief or just by following your Instagram and listening to your wisdom.
Maria Fedorec-Kyte –
I had a session with Illy 15 months after the traumatic birth of our daughter. My wife, the birthing partner in our relationship, booked the session for me having recognised the enormous support she had following the birth, but the lack of support for me as her partner who came very close to losing both her and the baby in childbirth. For the first time I don’t feel like I’m broken by our birthing story. I don’t feel like I’m something to be fixed. I’m just different, forever changed by our story – and that’s ok! This has given me a whole new perspective on our birth experience, my trauma, and our plans for the future. Thank you, Illy!
Katie Middleton Tansley –
I had a debrief with Illy last week about my previous birth in order to prepare for my upcoming one in a couple of months. Although an hour passes quickly, Illy manages to drop some serious truth bombs in that time that made me really step back and think- that’s so right I’ve never looked at it that way before. I was feeling guilty about going with Labour ward this time around, and was avoiding making a plan- but Illy helped me view things differently and I’ve since knocked out a plan I’m really happy with and feel confident taking to my appointments. It was really helpful for me to be able to move forward and completely worth while. I would recommend to anyone in a similar space.
Brayana –
I had a debrief with Illy in May when I was around 20 weeks pregnant with my second. I had a very traumatic birth with my first daughter and was still carrying a lot of those unresolved issues into my second pregnancy. During our debrief, Illy assured me that I was as prepared as I could be and praised my determination to have a better more empowering birth this time around. She told me exactly what I needed to hear and I left our debrief feeling more confident about this pregnancy/birth than I had before. A few weeks before I delivered, I ended up changing practitioners and they were suggesting interventions that they knew I was opposed to as well as switching me from a home birth to a birth centre birth. I messaged Illy on Instagram to ask for advice and she delivered once more. She told me that no matter what happens or where I am, I have the ability to birth my baby regardless and that it all depends on me. These words are exactly what I needed to hear.Well, about a week later I went into labour and had just about the most beautiful experience of my entire lifetime. There was so much about my birth that was different than what I had planned, but Illy was right about one thing: it was me who was in control and it was me who had the power to bring my baby earthside. Thank you so much Illy for your wisdom and expertise. I will never forget our voicenote conversations on Instagram, you empowered more than you can possibly understand.
Charlie –
I am so pleased with my birth debrief! I had such a negative birth experience with my son in October 2020 and speaking to Illy has made me feel so much more positive about it. She has such a wonderful, caring personality and is so down to earth. I was really nervous about the session leading up to it but she instantly made me feel completely at ease. She has given me a huge boost, made me realise that I did not fail my body and gave advice/information that I’ve never had before. I absolutely loved it and was so worth it ❤️ thank you so much Illy, you are an incredible woman!
Allanah –
I spoke with Illy this morning, 5 years after the birth of my first child and now pregnant with my second. I had a really hard time with the first birth and postpartum period and booking the debrief with Illy for me was the first step to having a different experience this time around. I felt in safe and very competent hands right from the get go. Illy let me speak, heard me, validated my experience and helped me look at ways I could both reframe my past experience and help me feel as in control as possible in this pregnancy. I feel much more confident in myself and ready to take on the challenge of facing my past trauma with self belief, knowing what I really needed (and was denied) was empathy and kindness. Thank you Illy for holding space for me, and believing in me.